What’s the Worst That Can Happen?

We all have our worries and uncertainties.

I can remember not so long ago when I had a problem I had gotten stuck on – yes therapists can get stuck like everyone else – and I took myself off to see my therapist Bill.

I made myself comfortable in his therapy room and relayed what I had come to see him about. With this particular issue it took me two or three sessions to truly get into client mode and this was my third session.  The previous two sessions,  I had tended to listen to Bill’s responses with two minds. One part of my mind was listening and thinking “Oh ok, that sounds good, maybe I will remember that for my clients!” The other part of my mind argued with the part that just wouldn’t let go of monitoring everything, challenging “just listen without analysing will you!” I was frustrating myself!

Nonetheless, I really got into telling Bill about the particular thing I needed his perspective on, when I also mentioned that I had a fear of a specific scenario.  The scenario being this;  a client arrives and I had “forgotten”  their appointment.  I imagine that somehow, I had inadvertently missed it in my diary, glossed over it, and not seen it amongst the others.   Even worse, maybe, I had changed out of my “presentable” clothes into jeans and  T shirt or even the imaginary client arrives really early in the morning and I hadn’t even got dressed!! Oh Hell Fire and Brimstone………..I could now picture the scene with me opening the door and trying to explain that it was just an oversight; I hadn’t really forgotten about them; they are important, aaarrrrggghhhh! The very thought of letting a client down in that way filled me with horror and I would relive the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Bill listened in his usual unperturbed way and I awaited with anticipation for a pearl of wisdom that would save me from such a plight. Then Bill slowly uttered in his very softly spoken voice “Well, Teresa that scenario is not so much if it happens but more about when it will happen!” It took a few seconds to sink in, and then I laughed.  This wasn’t the response I had expected at all. “Yes” he mused “It is really only a matter of time; I am guessing that most therapists will have had that happen to them at some point in their career”.  Now here’s the really strange thing. Instead of feeling worse I felt BETTER! Something in my mind changed from trying to ward off this terrible happening to “Oh well, if that’s the case then I will deal with it when it arises”.  A weight had been lifted somehow. We carried on with the session focusing on what I had actually come for, finished the session and I said that I would contact him the next time I needed a little outside help. Therapy can be a little like moving a sofa, yes  you can do it on your own, but it is so much easier when there is someone the other end.

In case you are wondering; yes I have had that experience when a client arrived and I wasn’t prepared. The said client had moved their appointment; I had checked in my diary to see if I was available and agreed the time and date but had not written it in. As luck would have it, it was her last session and she had come to tell me that the issue had resolved very nicely which was rather convenient all round. However,  the important thing was that I was able to take it in my stride and not act as though someone had just died.

I teach my clients to go easy on themselves and sometimes ask them “What is the worst that can happen?”

For me it always good to feel congruent with what I am advocating or to put it another way – Walk the walk.

What I aspire to in my humble reflections and inspirations, trials and tribulations is to share with you,  the reader,  some helpful information and thoughts.  Sometimes it will be something that may simply “lift the spirits”; an incredible story I may have stumbled across or that someone has forwarded to me;  you know, the kind of stuff that changes your perspective and feelings for that day, particularly if you are feeling a little fed up or frustrated with your lot, as we all can from time to time.
My intention is never to represent anything as being true; my benchmark is only that it could be useful. I use Hypnosis, EFT and Counselling to help people, but I don’t advocate that this is the only way.  The fact these therapies integrate nicely and are very flexible suits me very well.
I like to think of my own personal growth and struggles as a work in progress, organic in nature, with room for improvement but accepting things to be how they are right now, in no rush to reach my destination but enjoying the journey and smelling the roses along the way……..much like this blog.